How to support a friend or family member experiencing abuse

If someone may be experiencing domestic violence or sexual assault, a caring response can make a meaningful difference. The most helpful support often starts with listening without judgment, believing what they share, and respecting their right to make their own choices. U Care, Inc. provides confidential, survivor-centered domestic violence support and sexual assault services throughout Sampson County, North Carolina.

There is no perfect script for these conversations. What matters is creating space for the person to be heard, avoiding blame, and helping them connect with professional support if and when they want it.

Listen With Care and Believe Them

When someone chooses to talk about a harmful or frightening experience, they may be taking a difficult and deeply personal step. Start by listening calmly. Avoid interrupting, pressing for details, or trying to decide what they should do next.

Simple statements can communicate support: “I believe you,” “This is not your fault,” and “Thank you for telling me.” These words can help counter the isolation, doubt, and fear that often accompany abuse.

Try to avoid questions that suggest blame, such as asking why they stayed, why they did not report, or why they were in a particular place. Responsibility for abuse always belongs to the person causing harm—not the survivor.

Respect Their Choices and Timing

Every survivor understands their circumstances, risks, and needs in ways others may not see. It can be tempting to urge someone to leave, report the abuse, seek medical care, or take another immediate step. While options can be helpful, pressure can take away the sense of control they may need most.

Instead, ask what would feel supportive. You might say, “What do you need from me right now?” or “Would you like help finding resources?” Respecting their decisions does not mean you are unconcerned; it means you are offering support in a way that centers their safety and autonomy.

Do Not Confront the Abusive Person

Confronting someone who is abusive can increase danger for the survivor and for others. Even well-intended attempts to intervene directly may escalate a situation or lead to retaliation. Avoid contacting, threatening, or trying to reason with the abusive person.

If there is an immediate emergency or someone is in danger, call 911. In other situations, focus on supporting the survivor and helping them consider confidential resources, safety planning, and next steps that fit their circumstances.

Offer Professional Support Without Pressure

Professional advocates can help survivors explore options in a confidential, trauma-informed setting. U Care, Inc. is a state-recognized nonprofit organization offering survivor advocacy, trauma counseling, support groups, legal advocacy, community education, and emergency shelter resources for people throughout Sampson County.

You can offer to sit with someone while they call, help them find a private time to reach out, or provide transportation if they request it. Let them decide whether and when to connect. A gentle offer may sound like, “U Care has a 24/7 crisis hotline if you would ever like to speak with someone.”

U Care serves Clinton, Roseboro, Garland, Newton Grove, and surrounding Sampson County communities. For domestic violence support or sexual assault services, call our 24/7 crisis hotline at (910) 596-0931.

Continue Showing Up With Compassion

Support is not limited to one conversation. Check in in a way that feels safe and respectful, without demanding updates or answers. Let the person know you care, that you are available to listen, and that they deserve support.

Friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors cannot solve every problem, but they can help reduce isolation. By listening, believing, respecting choices, avoiding confrontation, and sharing information about available resources, our community can create safer pathways toward healing and empowerment.

For confidential support in Sampson County, contact U Care, Inc.’s 24/7 crisis hotline at (910) 596-0931.